i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
