My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
