Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
