Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
