I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The air was thick with penises
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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