so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
