great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
