I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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