You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
