New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
