Where did you get a picture of my penis
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
