I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
