Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
