Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
not ubering you a puppy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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