That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
