You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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