I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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