either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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