The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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