Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
