You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize