okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I could make wine with my vomit
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
