I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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