i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
