bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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