STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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