she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
