a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No subtext here. People are naked.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
