Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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