a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
