it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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