he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so much tequila, so little girl.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
