Don't make out with my wife yet
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
