do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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