yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
