Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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