Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
