Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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