I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
not ubering you a puppy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
