We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
