you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
