Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
