She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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