i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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