So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
