i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They took my balls.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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