What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
