So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize