I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
