Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
