"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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