No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize