Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize