well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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