I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
