He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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