well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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