How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
my liver is dry heaving
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize