i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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