You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
