He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
