My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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