two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize