forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
