i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
