She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I touched a dick in church today
Dick very happy bro
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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