so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
