Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
