Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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